Six weeks ago my husband interviewed for and was offered his first full-time position in radio. I was and still am thrilled for this blessing. We replaced our vehicle and moved to a new town. Everything fell into place quickly and easily. I am still waiting on a job for myself now though. He may have increased our income, but we also increased our monthly expences. God has ever been faithful to take care of us, so I know that in the right time I willbe lead to the right position.
I just want to know why, after so many years of God proving himself faithful to us, is it so easy to set all of that aside for doubt and worry. I know that I was a bit foolish with some money just before we moved here, but God wants to teach us, not punish us for our mistakes. Now I have to figure out what I can learn for the situation we are in. I know that I have to continue to trust, and that that trust needs some maintenance. I need hope amd peace. We have been here one full week and I am still somewhat shell shocked. Sure I knewn about this move for five weeks before it happened, but my life didn't really change until the day we actually moved. I was packing and had given a notice at work, but other than that everything seemed normal.
I wonder when it will all set in? How will I adjust to everything? Will I get the job at the hospital? When will our finances even out again? What am I to learn here? Will I have friends?
How can I grow through this? Who can I become? Will I find a mentor? Can I mentor someone else? What character flaws can I work on? What character positives can I gain? How can I continue to lose weight? Will we be able to afford decent gifts for our loved ones for Christmas? Can Mitch and I enjoy Christmas together? When will I see my family again? Will Mitch get a raise in January? How much will it be? Will he get a holiday bonus?
I am just so lost and confused. I know that I am not alone, that Mitch and I are a team. That's all I have to hold onto, other than the knowledge that God will take care of us as usual. This understanding does not make anything less stressful or more fun.
Well enough crying and wussing. I doubt if anyone reads these, I just needed to write.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Techno Hermit
When I was a teenager, the first movie I saw by myself was The Net. I decided then that someday I wanted to be a techno hermit, that is the life for me. Get everything online, delivered to my door, don't have to deal with traffic or stupid people at a brick and mortar store, just me and my computer. With this in mind understand that I am ADHD, I treat it with diet and avoiding synthetic products.
I have a list of foods that I cannot have. Some of the products that avoid are not just food items, they're health and beauty products and cleaning products. I rarely use commercial products in these areas of my life. Most of them are all natural, but not necessarily organic. My favorite companies are Burt's Bee's, the Cal Ben Soap Company, and Melaleuca. I buy online and love having everything delivered to my door.
Now all I have to do is live in an area where I can have my groceries, Chinese food, pizza, and other restaurant foods delivered. I can say that I would want to get out some to see friends in person, go to a co-op and a farmers market. Ah yes, and though I can buy clothes online, I insist upon trying things on before I buy, so brick and mortar would be unavoidable there. Though accessories I could still get on the net.
I do keep in mind that there are a multitude of things that could go wrong, like identity theft and so on, but I think with the newer technology and my not having a computer geek job may help me to avoid the issues that the character in The Net ran into. Identity theft or being erased could be a problem, but this is all hypothetical, I don't think I will ever go through with it, no matter how enticing it would be to me.
I do have friends on the outside world, most of them I can contact on the internet. And in spite of the fact that I blog and divulge things online, I am a fairly private person. I believe that high fences make good neighbors. I don't like forced social functions, unless I can have a glass of wine. Voluntary social functions are great, so long as Io can keep my mouth shut.
Sorry bunny trail, even so I think I am done here.
I have a list of foods that I cannot have. Some of the products that avoid are not just food items, they're health and beauty products and cleaning products. I rarely use commercial products in these areas of my life. Most of them are all natural, but not necessarily organic. My favorite companies are Burt's Bee's, the Cal Ben Soap Company, and Melaleuca. I buy online and love having everything delivered to my door.
Now all I have to do is live in an area where I can have my groceries, Chinese food, pizza, and other restaurant foods delivered. I can say that I would want to get out some to see friends in person, go to a co-op and a farmers market. Ah yes, and though I can buy clothes online, I insist upon trying things on before I buy, so brick and mortar would be unavoidable there. Though accessories I could still get on the net.
I do keep in mind that there are a multitude of things that could go wrong, like identity theft and so on, but I think with the newer technology and my not having a computer geek job may help me to avoid the issues that the character in The Net ran into. Identity theft or being erased could be a problem, but this is all hypothetical, I don't think I will ever go through with it, no matter how enticing it would be to me.
I do have friends on the outside world, most of them I can contact on the internet. And in spite of the fact that I blog and divulge things online, I am a fairly private person. I believe that high fences make good neighbors. I don't like forced social functions, unless I can have a glass of wine. Voluntary social functions are great, so long as Io can keep my mouth shut.
Sorry bunny trail, even so I think I am done here.
Am I the only one?
For days once, not all that long ago, I have the theme song from the Muppets running through my head, then suddenly one day it all changed to the theme song to the 4400.
Another time I got stuck on the thought, "Why are is it that hoot owl and moo cow are the only animals that are referred to, by small children, including the sound the animal makes and the name of the animal?" One never hears of a meow cat, or a bark dog. There is no cluck chicken or oink pig.
Have you ever had the lyrics and tune of a song you know that you've never heard before running through your head, yet like most other songs, it's only the one line and it eventually drives you insane? Please note that I am not a song writer and music it not a strong point of mine either.
My husband and I argue with our cats, and tease them, in their own language. We also have conversations between us that is all meowing. Not just at home, but in the grocery store also.
My many phases: MASH, Little House on the Prairie, CSI , Lord of the Rings, Jane Austin, Pride and Prejudice, Gilmore Girls, 4400, Eureka, Winnie the Pooh, Blue, Etiquette, Lady, Accomplished Woman, Firefly, Julia Roberts, Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis, Tolkein, and everything homemade.
Another time I got stuck on the thought, "Why are is it that hoot owl and moo cow are the only animals that are referred to, by small children, including the sound the animal makes and the name of the animal?" One never hears of a meow cat, or a bark dog. There is no cluck chicken or oink pig.
Have you ever had the lyrics and tune of a song you know that you've never heard before running through your head, yet like most other songs, it's only the one line and it eventually drives you insane? Please note that I am not a song writer and music it not a strong point of mine either.
My husband and I argue with our cats, and tease them, in their own language. We also have conversations between us that is all meowing. Not just at home, but in the grocery store also.
My many phases: MASH, Little House on the Prairie, CSI , Lord of the Rings, Jane Austin, Pride and Prejudice, Gilmore Girls, 4400, Eureka, Winnie the Pooh, Blue, Etiquette, Lady, Accomplished Woman, Firefly, Julia Roberts, Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis, Tolkein, and everything homemade.
A Crimp in the Porcess
Why is it that all day long I can think of these brilliant stories to tell about on my blog, but when I sit down to actually put them down, my brain goes clear and nothing comes out that could possibly be of any interest to any one? Childhood stories, amusing anecdotes, something that happened or that I heard the other day, all gone, pfft, without a trace. I can journal for hours, talk like nobodies business, but when I sit down to write for a bit...
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Big Fish
My name is Jane Carter, I'm 27, married without children, and live in a city of 42k. My city is too small, in spite of the fact that I grew up in a tiny hamlet of 306, which I believe is up to 450 now. In my home town everyone is related some how, but with out the inbreeding. There are no traffic lights, one family restaurant, two gas stations, three bars and four churches. The school is preschool through 12th grade in one building. One can see most of the town from the main road, which is about a mile long. This hamlet has grown some since I was growing up there, but nonetheless it is still puny.
Now I live in a city of 42k and it feels too small also. The people are simple and many seem to resist change. It's almost like living in the Shire. I am not thrilled with the shopping around here but that which is needed can be found, just not much more than needed. For the most part the people around here are good people, they just get bored and sometimes make foolish choices as to how to fill their time. Their core values are good though.
How can I go from 306 to 42k and still feel like the town is too small? Well I spent some time in a major metropolitan area in between. I miss the shopping, the diversity of culture, religions, and people. There are more things to do in a larger city, places to shop and eat. Aside from all of this my friends and family live in the metro where we came from.
I can't say that it's all bad here. I have grown up a lot since we moved here. I can't say exactly how I have grown up or where I have changed or grown, only that I have. I am more laid back, things don't bother me so easily, I am more tolerant of people and situations. I don't take things as personally as I used to. This town is very clique oriented and if you are different or "not from around here," then in some ways, to some people you aren't welcome. Oh, and there are church people and non-church people. The church people have their own cliques and prejudices. Here, if you don't fit in, they will simply kick you out, if they can't make you leave of your own accord.
I am learning humility and patience here, right now. I feel like a big fish in a small pond. I am by no means an important person, but I do have big dreams and a strong will to accomplish those dreams. In the mean time, my character is more important than my accomplishments. It's not about me, but my purpose will be seen through.
Now I live in a city of 42k and it feels too small also. The people are simple and many seem to resist change. It's almost like living in the Shire. I am not thrilled with the shopping around here but that which is needed can be found, just not much more than needed. For the most part the people around here are good people, they just get bored and sometimes make foolish choices as to how to fill their time. Their core values are good though.
How can I go from 306 to 42k and still feel like the town is too small? Well I spent some time in a major metropolitan area in between. I miss the shopping, the diversity of culture, religions, and people. There are more things to do in a larger city, places to shop and eat. Aside from all of this my friends and family live in the metro where we came from.
I can't say that it's all bad here. I have grown up a lot since we moved here. I can't say exactly how I have grown up or where I have changed or grown, only that I have. I am more laid back, things don't bother me so easily, I am more tolerant of people and situations. I don't take things as personally as I used to. This town is very clique oriented and if you are different or "not from around here," then in some ways, to some people you aren't welcome. Oh, and there are church people and non-church people. The church people have their own cliques and prejudices. Here, if you don't fit in, they will simply kick you out, if they can't make you leave of your own accord.
I am learning humility and patience here, right now. I feel like a big fish in a small pond. I am by no means an important person, but I do have big dreams and a strong will to accomplish those dreams. In the mean time, my character is more important than my accomplishments. It's not about me, but my purpose will be seen through.
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