Big Fish

My name is Jane Carter, I'm 27, married without children, and live in a city of 42k. My city is too small, in spite of the fact that I grew up in a tiny hamlet of 306, which I believe is up to 450 now. In my home town everyone is related some how, but with out the inbreeding. There are no traffic lights, one family restaurant, two gas stations, three bars and four churches. The school is preschool through 12th grade in one building. One can see most of the town from the main road, which is about a mile long. This hamlet has grown some since I was growing up there, but nonetheless it is still puny.
Now I live in a city of 42k and it feels too small also. The people are simple and many seem to resist change. It's almost like living in the Shire. I am not thrilled with the shopping around here but that which is needed can be found, just not much more than needed. For the most part the people around here are good people, they just get bored and sometimes make foolish choices as to how to fill their time. Their core values are good though.
How can I go from 306 to 42k and still feel like the town is too small? Well I spent some time in a major metropolitan area in between. I miss the shopping, the diversity of culture, religions, and people. There are more things to do in a larger city, places to shop and eat. Aside from all of this my friends and family live in the metro where we came from.
I can't say that it's all bad here. I have grown up a lot since we moved here. I can't say exactly how I have grown up or where I have changed or grown, only that I have. I am more laid back, things don't bother me so easily, I am more tolerant of people and situations. I don't take things as personally as I used to. This town is very clique oriented and if you are different or "not from around here," then in some ways, to some people you aren't welcome. Oh, and there are church people and non-church people. The church people have their own cliques and prejudices. Here, if you don't fit in, they will simply kick you out, if they can't make you leave of your own accord.
I am learning humility and patience here, right now. I feel like a big fish in a small pond. I am by no means an important person, but I do have big dreams and a strong will to accomplish those dreams. In the mean time, my character is more important than my accomplishments. It's not about me, but my purpose will be seen through.