I am about as sexist a woman as any can find. I am angered by the man haters out there who think that women should bne out in the work force just as much as men. I hate that I have to work outside the home to help bring in money for our childless family to stay afloat.
I will not say that all woman should be stuck home bare foot an pregnant in the kitchen making pie all day. I do believe that there are women out there who do well in the professional positions. It is the women who are so emotionally charged and completely illogical who really grind my wheat. I firmly beleive that this nation was better off befor women were allowed run for office and to some extent to vote too. A strong opinion yes, but no stronger than the views of my man oppressing female counterparts. There are so many feminists out there who say they want equal rights to men, but what they seem to really want is more rights than men. These are bitter women, hurt or neglected by their father or some other important man in their life. They want revenge. These are spiteful women, angry at the world for their percieved ill treatment.
I am one example of women who want to stay home, care for my husband and children.I want my husband to be the leader of my home, to help disciplin our children. I want to be my husbands help mate, to be submissiveto him, not a slave or subordinate. They say that "behind every great man is a great woman." Well, I want to be that woman.I don't need to vote, I do but I don't need to. I vote for whom ever my husband voted for. He is a good man, honest, and Godly. He dotes on me, loves me, respects me, prays with me, values my opinion and how I feel, and he appreciates me. he has his faults and I acknowledge them; but I have my faults too, and they are no less than his. Each of us has our own goals and dreams, many of them coincide with eachother, but they do not run in two different directions. We both have great tallents and abilities, and we do our best to use them for God's glory.
I do believe in God and the Bible. I take bothe seriously and litterally. I would not consider myself a Bible thumper or even very conservative. I believe what I believe and that makes me who I am. I do not think it is right to force others to live the same sort of life I chose to lead, though I do believe that the God of the Bible is the one true God and the only Way. I make no appologies for it, just as those who oppose me make no appologies for their beliefs. or faith or lack thereof.
I don't wish to be typical or normal in the eyes of the world. I already feel alien here. I want to be a Godly woman, a Proiverbs woman. I want to be different, becausse normal is disfunctional.
Normal women are bitchy, illogicl, unforgiving, overly emotional, bitter, insecure, indicisive, contentious, and poor communicaters. They take everything personally, react to emotions, and emasculate any man they can for their own insecuries. I know I am a rare woman, but I know there are more out there like me, I have met a few.
These are the womans rights I want to fight for: to take care of my husband, home, and children.
I want to educate my children myself, with my husband. I want to have babies at home or in a birthing center. Naturally, with the help of a midwife as they did once upon a time. I want to breastfeed until my child weans themself, the way it once was. I want to use cloth diapers. I want to disciplin and care for my chuildren the way I see fit, to teach them self control and responsibility. I want to rumn my home, not have my children do it, or have the government or psychologists tell me what is best.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Blasted women and the most crap I will ever get
I don't mind not being liked by everyone. I acknowledge that I have at times a very abrasive personality. I see this and count it as both a blessing and a curse. I know that I rub some people the wrong way. I don't intend to, but I also know that I am often misunderstood. My tone of voice, my attitude at a given time, and sometimes my over confidence gets in the way of my ability to communicate. Though I do think at times that people do need to be offended, wake them up a bit, get them thinking.
I like questions, I ask them all the time. Questions followed by honest and intelligent answers are the only way to solve or understand anything.
Why do women twist things about the way they do? They seem to hear what they want, not what is being said. Aside from taking things all too personally, they turn everything inside out and backward. i do not claim to be perfect, all wise, or all knowing, but I do know myself. I know my securities and insecurities, my faults and my strengths. I do thing for myself and have no issue with admitting to being wrong; but when I know that I am right I will stand firm. I don't like being wrong, but I will admit to it when it is plain. i will also admit when i don't know something; I do not count this as an insecurity or even a flaw, only as ignorance. Ignorance can be a flaw and it can be a blessing.
I do not follow the news in any way. I only know what is going on in the world from news show commercials, blurbs on the radio, and conversations I overhear. To me the news, as liberal media presents it, is too depressing. It all seems to be about fear and death. Stories are writen for emotions rather than to convey facts. Opinions are given instead of truths and evidance. There always seems to be a slant on everything.
I research what is important to me: education, child rearing, domestic economics, frugality, and a host of other intrests. Though I enjoy writing stories of fiction, much of my intrests are reality based. I have no time for reality television or even most sitcoms. Reality television is not reality, it is improv, people placed in a given situation, playing a part without a script. Sitcoms portray "typical" couples or familieswhere: the man is an insensitive, selfish fool; the woman is either an air head or a contentious, ultra sensitive, control-freak. Neither tha man nor the woman portray any amount of respect for one another or expect it from their disobedient children who do seem to be running the home.
I like questions, I ask them all the time. Questions followed by honest and intelligent answers are the only way to solve or understand anything.
Why do women twist things about the way they do? They seem to hear what they want, not what is being said. Aside from taking things all too personally, they turn everything inside out and backward. i do not claim to be perfect, all wise, or all knowing, but I do know myself. I know my securities and insecurities, my faults and my strengths. I do thing for myself and have no issue with admitting to being wrong; but when I know that I am right I will stand firm. I don't like being wrong, but I will admit to it when it is plain. i will also admit when i don't know something; I do not count this as an insecurity or even a flaw, only as ignorance. Ignorance can be a flaw and it can be a blessing.
I do not follow the news in any way. I only know what is going on in the world from news show commercials, blurbs on the radio, and conversations I overhear. To me the news, as liberal media presents it, is too depressing. It all seems to be about fear and death. Stories are writen for emotions rather than to convey facts. Opinions are given instead of truths and evidance. There always seems to be a slant on everything.
I research what is important to me: education, child rearing, domestic economics, frugality, and a host of other intrests. Though I enjoy writing stories of fiction, much of my intrests are reality based. I have no time for reality television or even most sitcoms. Reality television is not reality, it is improv, people placed in a given situation, playing a part without a script. Sitcoms portray "typical" couples or familieswhere: the man is an insensitive, selfish fool; the woman is either an air head or a contentious, ultra sensitive, control-freak. Neither tha man nor the woman portray any amount of respect for one another or expect it from their disobedient children who do seem to be running the home.
Blinders of a Horse
Live in your head. Don't mind the news or what goes on around you. Be vigilant, be faithful, trust and obey. Do as your told and do not fear. hear my voice: my quiet gentle voice. When all else seems to be going south, breath deep and keep moving. I have a plan for you, I have a purpose. Have joy, have peace, hope is ever present, and my love will provide all that you need. Your vision of the future is dim, I will dazzle you.
I keep my eyes on Him as the world comes crashing down. My road will be straight and my vision narrow, my mind open and clear to his voice.
I keep my eyes on Him as the world comes crashing down. My road will be straight and my vision narrow, my mind open and clear to his voice.
Humpty Dumpty
I feel so alien in this world any more. Everything seems backward and upside down. Government, education, domestics, and all over our society is lost in sin and perversion. Greed, pride, and all kinds of immorality have turned our culture. People use to be respectful, responsible, and reputable. So much has become acceptable that was once considered unacceptable, and they call it enlightenment. I call it perversion. I am all for change and advancement, but not when basic principals are reversed or completely set aside.
People wonder why our society has gone into such disarray. Well it starts in the home and in the public schools. When individuals and families are out of control the rest of society reflects it. When parents don't control their children, the children don't learn self control; and what they are when they are four is what they will be when they are fourteen and twenty-four.
Once the largest trouble in public schools was gum chewing and talking in class. Now there are police and metal detectors at even the small schools, because of weapons and the possibility of their use.
It makes me angry when people say how fgreat this nation is, but it is all pride and not a good healthy confidence. This nation was founded on rebellion. Christianity was once recognised as the standard, not all has been set aside. We are not a great nation we are a "know-it-all" teen, a petulant child. America must be humbled, we need to be judged. I realize tat many other nations are just as bad if not worse, but we are so arrogant; thinking we are blessed and protected. We are not Israel, we are not Gods chosen nation. We have no more blessing or protection than any other nation, we are not special. The world does not respect us because we have earned it, they fear us because we can blow them up. It is our military they wish not to recon with. Our pride will be our down fall , and we will fall.We have turned away from our most basic principals and those principals are what made us great, once. Our greatness has fallen, and so soon will all the rest.
People wonder why our society has gone into such disarray. Well it starts in the home and in the public schools. When individuals and families are out of control the rest of society reflects it. When parents don't control their children, the children don't learn self control; and what they are when they are four is what they will be when they are fourteen and twenty-four.
Once the largest trouble in public schools was gum chewing and talking in class. Now there are police and metal detectors at even the small schools, because of weapons and the possibility of their use.
It makes me angry when people say how fgreat this nation is, but it is all pride and not a good healthy confidence. This nation was founded on rebellion. Christianity was once recognised as the standard, not all has been set aside. We are not a great nation we are a "know-it-all" teen, a petulant child. America must be humbled, we need to be judged. I realize tat many other nations are just as bad if not worse, but we are so arrogant; thinking we are blessed and protected. We are not Israel, we are not Gods chosen nation. We have no more blessing or protection than any other nation, we are not special. The world does not respect us because we have earned it, they fear us because we can blow them up. It is our military they wish not to recon with. Our pride will be our down fall , and we will fall.We have turned away from our most basic principals and those principals are what made us great, once. Our greatness has fallen, and so soon will all the rest.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
You're so vain...
There's a guy who works in my building who, when his wife comes in to dine with him for lunch, he seems ashamed of her; or maybe he's ashamed of himself, I am not sure which. He is a fairly attractive man, but she seems very plain. She isn't ugly, she's just plain. I understand that they have children, though it still does not explain his demeanor when she is around.
My husband comes in every Thursday for lunch, and a Bible study with our Pastor. I advertise everytime. I am proud of my husband, he's everything to me; and he is the kind of person people tend to like to be around. Well I best be off, so little to do and so much time to do it in, you know.
My husband comes in every Thursday for lunch, and a Bible study with our Pastor. I advertise everytime. I am proud of my husband, he's everything to me; and he is the kind of person people tend to like to be around. Well I best be off, so little to do and so much time to do it in, you know.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I know Papa, but when?
I have found that being a Christ Follower is rather like being a drug addict at times. So long as I am reading my Bible, journaling, listening to edifying music, and praying regularly life is good. I am content even when everything around me seems to be chaos. I worship Him when things go right and ask guidance when they go wrong. In all things I am at peace, I have joy, and everything is right with the world. I do not falter, I keep my eyes on Him and my feet stay on the path.
Then something happens, I see how good everything is and I suddenly take my eyes off of Him. Like a psych patient on medication, I see how much I have improved and how well things are going. I take myself off the drug, after all things are going so well. I forget that it is the drug or God that is making everything right. When I take my eyes off of Him and try to do things on my own, try to control my own life, then I see the chaos around me. I panic and try to gain control, a futile act that is so common to humans. We want to feel in control of our lives, we want to be independent. It just does not work like that. We need Him, we were created by Him for Him. We are His children and he wants to take care of us. He has complete control and knows how and where to guide us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us more than we could ever imagine.
Every now and again I I wonder if my life will be everything I see. I know that I often have a grand imagination and that some of what I see could be beyond what He truly has planned. I feel selfish sometimes thinking of all of the things I see for us and wonder "will it really be like this?" Will we ever get to that point? How real are the stories that I write? I know that God is a big God and that with Him anything is possible. I am always told that whatever we dream, if we trust in Him, He will give us our dreams and more. I was always told to dream big dreams. Impressionable child or no, I take these things very seriously and some days it is not hard for me to believe that He will bring such things about in my life.
I get angry with young parents and the people who don't seem to appreciate their children or situation in life. The people that take what they have for granted or think that they deserve everything they get. The people who seem to be given everything without having to work for it. Teenage parents and young unwed mothers really drive me nuts. I feel punished for doing things the right way. I am married and we are working to give our children the best life possible. Seven years we have labored to build a solid marriage and home. Seven years we have sought to become a man and woman of good character, and learn Gods way in all things. I know that we are making progress as individuals and as a couple, but sometimes it feels like we fight in vein.
I know how far we have come, but how much further is there to go? Will it be worth it? Will we have great children? Are we going to be the parents we want to be? Are we going to be able to give them the life we want to give them? Do we have our priorities straight in that venue? Will we be able to teach our children Godly character? How selfish are my dreams?
I want to be the model family, the model marriage, the model parents. I understand that children are not always the ideal we want them to be, but I want to be the parent that builds their character and teaches them in the way of Godliness. I want others to look at us and say, "how do they do it all?" I always want to be totally and completely in love with God and my husband. I want my marriage to come before my children, and to respect my children first as people, then to love them as my children.
Then something happens, I see how good everything is and I suddenly take my eyes off of Him. Like a psych patient on medication, I see how much I have improved and how well things are going. I take myself off the drug, after all things are going so well. I forget that it is the drug or God that is making everything right. When I take my eyes off of Him and try to do things on my own, try to control my own life, then I see the chaos around me. I panic and try to gain control, a futile act that is so common to humans. We want to feel in control of our lives, we want to be independent. It just does not work like that. We need Him, we were created by Him for Him. We are His children and he wants to take care of us. He has complete control and knows how and where to guide us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us more than we could ever imagine.
Every now and again I I wonder if my life will be everything I see. I know that I often have a grand imagination and that some of what I see could be beyond what He truly has planned. I feel selfish sometimes thinking of all of the things I see for us and wonder "will it really be like this?" Will we ever get to that point? How real are the stories that I write? I know that God is a big God and that with Him anything is possible. I am always told that whatever we dream, if we trust in Him, He will give us our dreams and more. I was always told to dream big dreams. Impressionable child or no, I take these things very seriously and some days it is not hard for me to believe that He will bring such things about in my life.
I get angry with young parents and the people who don't seem to appreciate their children or situation in life. The people that take what they have for granted or think that they deserve everything they get. The people who seem to be given everything without having to work for it. Teenage parents and young unwed mothers really drive me nuts. I feel punished for doing things the right way. I am married and we are working to give our children the best life possible. Seven years we have labored to build a solid marriage and home. Seven years we have sought to become a man and woman of good character, and learn Gods way in all things. I know that we are making progress as individuals and as a couple, but sometimes it feels like we fight in vein.
I know how far we have come, but how much further is there to go? Will it be worth it? Will we have great children? Are we going to be the parents we want to be? Are we going to be able to give them the life we want to give them? Do we have our priorities straight in that venue? Will we be able to teach our children Godly character? How selfish are my dreams?
I want to be the model family, the model marriage, the model parents. I understand that children are not always the ideal we want them to be, but I want to be the parent that builds their character and teaches them in the way of Godliness. I want others to look at us and say, "how do they do it all?" I always want to be totally and completely in love with God and my husband. I want my marriage to come before my children, and to respect my children first as people, then to love them as my children.
I made a promise...
It ain't always been like this and it will not stay like this forever.
Our lives come in seasons, chapters if you will. Some chapters are very similar to others and other times they are vastly different. When I look back on my life, mostly since adult hood, but in some cases before then, I can see distinct changes in where I am as a person. Some parts of me have changed drastically over my life, but I am still the same fundamentally. I am still a strong willed, chatty, loyal sort who stands for what is right. I have always been one to follow where ever God leads, no matter if I like the situation or not.
I struggle with being patient and comparing myself to others my own age or younger. I look at the accomplishments of others and see how much I fall short of the worlds expectations. I often have to be reminded that It is not our accomplishments that matter but our character. One with fame, fortune, and anything else I or the world may seek may fall short in the areas that really matter. I daily battle with my desire for children, but I know that if I am going to give our children the life that I was denied, I must wait, patiently.
I have a promise, from God, the "not yet" promise that He gave me some years ago. I consciously steer clear of other peoples children because of my desire for my own. During Mitch and my first year of marriage I almost broke us with depression of not having children. I continue this fight, but I more frequently win now that I am stronger in Christ. In my book/blog about the MacGregor family, I tell of my husband and I with our children, both adoptive and biological. I know that God has a great life for us, but sometimes I lose sight of wehat I have. I forget how great my relationship with my husband is now. We are solid. I strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman, and he does his best to be a Godly spiritual leader for our home.
My question has ever been "when?" When will all of the pieces fall together so we can have children? Will I be the woman I want to be? Will I be the mother that I write about in my stories? Am I the wife, will I ever get there? I see myself pick up bad habbits from those around me, it's so easy to use curse words, to gossip, and be negative. I have so few Godly influinces in my life. I do have a friend who encourages me toward being the mother that I want to be. I know that I will never be perfect, and that there are those who are worse off than myself, but how do I over come all of the nay-sayers?
I made a peomise a very long time ago, that I would do anything and go anywere God would have me to. I stand on that promise. So long as it's God, I know that everything will be well. That being said, knowing what Gods will is does not remove all fear at all times, there is still a great amount of trust involved. While I don't always understand, and often times things can really suck, I know that He has my best intrest at heart, like any parent.
Our lives come in seasons, chapters if you will. Some chapters are very similar to others and other times they are vastly different. When I look back on my life, mostly since adult hood, but in some cases before then, I can see distinct changes in where I am as a person. Some parts of me have changed drastically over my life, but I am still the same fundamentally. I am still a strong willed, chatty, loyal sort who stands for what is right. I have always been one to follow where ever God leads, no matter if I like the situation or not.
I struggle with being patient and comparing myself to others my own age or younger. I look at the accomplishments of others and see how much I fall short of the worlds expectations. I often have to be reminded that It is not our accomplishments that matter but our character. One with fame, fortune, and anything else I or the world may seek may fall short in the areas that really matter. I daily battle with my desire for children, but I know that if I am going to give our children the life that I was denied, I must wait, patiently.
I have a promise, from God, the "not yet" promise that He gave me some years ago. I consciously steer clear of other peoples children because of my desire for my own. During Mitch and my first year of marriage I almost broke us with depression of not having children. I continue this fight, but I more frequently win now that I am stronger in Christ. In my book/blog about the MacGregor family, I tell of my husband and I with our children, both adoptive and biological. I know that God has a great life for us, but sometimes I lose sight of wehat I have. I forget how great my relationship with my husband is now. We are solid. I strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman, and he does his best to be a Godly spiritual leader for our home.
My question has ever been "when?" When will all of the pieces fall together so we can have children? Will I be the woman I want to be? Will I be the mother that I write about in my stories? Am I the wife, will I ever get there? I see myself pick up bad habbits from those around me, it's so easy to use curse words, to gossip, and be negative. I have so few Godly influinces in my life. I do have a friend who encourages me toward being the mother that I want to be. I know that I will never be perfect, and that there are those who are worse off than myself, but how do I over come all of the nay-sayers?
I made a peomise a very long time ago, that I would do anything and go anywere God would have me to. I stand on that promise. So long as it's God, I know that everything will be well. That being said, knowing what Gods will is does not remove all fear at all times, there is still a great amount of trust involved. While I don't always understand, and often times things can really suck, I know that He has my best intrest at heart, like any parent.
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